Tomorrow is yet...another day

You wake up in the morning. But then you surrounded by profound sadness of facing another new day. You are so disappointed in you and the world that revolves around you that you don’t want to blend in with the progress of the day.

Then you think, why do I have to dread the fact of facing a new day all by myself? Is it because I’m afraid of making the same mistake again or is it because the surrounding environment is retarding my growth, my happiness, my own sense of culture?

But what I have noticed all along the way is that we are afraid to face a new day because we feel that no one is looking out for us. No one really cares so much about the things that you do, unless you have failed, unless you have made a mistake. We expect people who we are currently attached to, to be with us all along the way. But that may well just be as far fetched as it seems. Relationships on this earth are never permanent and they never will be. They are just an illusion. When we realize, sooner or later how true this is, that is when you are hit with remorse for your life. You are left with no one now and the weird thing is that, the WORLD does not care. The world is happy as it is and you are on your own. How does that feel? Doesn’t that feel great?

I found that the real reason why facing a new day can be intimidating is because you feel no one is bothered about you, no one would try to understand you and that you will never be given the kindness and the assurance that someone is watching out for you. Every single soul needs love, compassion and a feeling that their presence is recognized. Sadly it doesn’t happen these days. You don’t want to face people because you are afraid they wouldn’t recognize you. 

Everybody needs compassion and kindness. It’s a rarity you find these days. Even a hard heart can be moved by a simple smile and a lending shoulder. Why is it so hard for someone to offer words of comfort, or atleast smile back when you smile? 

You can never guarantee that the relationship you have with this world is always happy-go-lucky. But when things go wrong and you feel dejected, you can always believe. We go on through life believing that someone out there is going to be happy when you do something great, someone out there is going to join in your sadness when you feel low and that someone out there is going to have your back when you fall. It may not happen sooner. But it will happen nevertheless.

The trick is to not get discouraged at what is trying to get you down. BELIEVE that even though now is not the time for you, it will come, eventually. Until that, you don't need to please others, you don't need to brood over things. Carry on with what you are comfortable with. You definitely don't have to fit in. Just hang in there for a while. Everything else will happen just the way it was intended to happen. 

A New Kind of Love

The world around her

twisted and swayed.

So pale and sick she stayed.

Surrounded by a world so insane

Devouring her in agony and pain

Sometime back she was in his arms

But today she stands, worlds apart

Everything happened beneath the mistletoe branch

And now she had to accept fate,

there was no other chance

He walked away slowly and silently

Looked into her eyes one last time

Darkness fell upon them,

 as mist and heavy clouds

“Sorry” was the last word she heard,

coming from his mouth

She slept until the moonlight

on the rivers gleamed

And cried until dawn broke

and roosters awoke from their sleep

Day and night she was bound to criticisms

But deep deep within she found a speck of optimism

She seemed to be avoiding everything

Her youth seemed to be ending

Behind every word she spoke

was something he never tried to understand

Above all, the thought of him abandoning her

was more than what she could withstand

She was too young

To carry this new life in her

If only she had been careful, she thought,

She wouldn't have suffered

But then she heard a vein throb

apart from hers

That’s when she felt a new inborne power-

The love of a mother

Mistakes - a part of life?

You need to make mistakes in order to learn.

How many of you have ever heard this sentence in your life? Once? Twice? Never(In that case, you have heard it now then)? But my question really is, how many people mean it when they say that. Not many. You may wonder why I am dealing with such a minor point, but I'll get to it.

We have all, and mind you I'm emphasizing on the word "all", made mistakes in some point in our lives. When we were kids, we may have tried playing with fire even when our parents forbade us from doing so and got ourselves burnt. We may have lied consistently and got caught. We may have stolen someone else's pencil case. Countless situations. But with our parents' help we learnt from them and knew it well enough that it was foolish of us to repeat them over again.

And then we grew up and started playing the risky game of making mistakes.We are still in the game. With or without our knowledge, we are making mistakes. But unlike the times when we were a kid, this time, the only difference is that, you need to get up on your own and  dust yourself up without the help of anyone but yourself. Yes, you are the one who is going to realize when you have made a mistake, and like one of my really good friends said "Anyone will make mistakes, but the greatness in it is realizing it and not making it one more time".

I have made a lot of mistakes. Afterall, Life never came with instructions. Some I want to forget, some I wish was a nightmare, some for no fault of mine. But the pain remains. It always does. Sometimes it never goes. But when it quietly subsides, I know it was only a lesson for me. An eye-opener. Something I blindly believed in. Something I wish will never happen again.

But I ask you, throughout all that, throughout all the pain you bury inside, will there really be anyone on your side saying you "Its alright. It was a mistake. Forget about it. It will pass" ? (If you do, then you have someone really great to count on). You will only find criticisms from all sides piercing right through you that you will not be able to stand for long.Sometimes, the world that is pointing fingers at you may not even realize that you were just victimized by someone else. All they are bothered about is to find a flaw. But that's the way the world works. No one's going to come and tell you , you were great when you did something great. But when you slipped somewhere in the middle of your journey, no one ever stops commenting. Not even your closest friend.

The reason I jotted this down now is because I am realizing that mistakes are inevitable. But it creates the most powerful experiences for you to continue your journey. Mistakes are not a crime. Everyone makes them but no one is ever willing to accept it and hence start comparing the depth of theirs and others' mistakes. Small or big. A mistake is a mistake. But just don't be ashamed of it. Be happy that you learnt something valuable from it. I have met some, who are afraid of making mistakes, who "think" they have never made any mistakes, and who hates other people who make mistakes. Just so you know, try laughing at your own mistakes 'cuz that will help you look at it with a good perspective, but please... please don't laugh at others' mistakes, because you never know how much they would have had to suffer, for the sole reason you have never walked in their shoes.

The simple explanation

When I was little, my mother told me a story that I did not really understand at that moment. But I just got reminded of it some days back when I read the story elsewhere in a book, but in a slightly modified manner.

This is how the story unfolded.

A man was having late breakfast one day with two of his friends. He was applying jam to his bread, when suddenly the bread slipped from his hand and fell to the floor. As opposed to Murphy's Law suggesting that everything will go wrong, to all their amazement, the side which had the jam applied,  fell,  facing upwards. There really shouldn’t have been any discussion over it, but they were feeling very uneasy about the whole situation. They talked and talked and tried to explain this miracle. They thought of various different explanation to what just happened. Why did the side which had the jam spread, fall face upwards? Shouldn’t it have fallen facing the floor? Since none of them came up with a plausible explanation, they decided they consult someone more superior to them, someone more wise. When the wise man heard about it, he thought for a while and then said,

“The bread fell the the right way, but the jam was applied on the wrong side”

Everything in this universe is just nothing more than a simple explanation. But people normally tend to come up with the most complicated of ideas. 

When I re-read the story again, it only made me laugh. Not for the fact that the wise man said something really funny, but because sometimes we simply overlook the simple side of life. Today everything needs to be complicated. Yes, I don’t disagree, because in this competitive world, everyone wishes to express things in a complicated manner.

 The whole idea of this article is for you to realize that everything actually comes down to simplicity. Its in the simplest form we find everything that is dear and near to our hearts. You can smile, you can be happy, you can be at peace, because they are all simple things in life.

Everyday work and pressure will naturally tend to make man’s life complicated, but take some time off to enjoy the simplest things in life. Because, as Henry David Thoreau said, “As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness.”

The lie she believed

And so she stood in the middle of the garden. Alone. Terrified. Insecure. All for the very first time in her life. Even the love of her life deserted her at this very point. She cried, ‘cuz this was the first time she realized she was made useless. She started to re call all that happened.

Adam and herself had a good time together that even God enjoyed spending time together with them. They found joy and happiness and everything went well until Eve heard a voice speaking directly to her, that she hadn’t listened previously in this garden. It was like

this mysterious yet dazzling voice was making Eve think of things that she’d never thought of before. She was promised Independence from God and Adam. She was promised that she would also be looked up to, just like God. And she was also promised of knowledge that no one other than God knew. And then the creature lured Eve to take a bite of the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge that God had forbidden them to eat from.

She believed the serpent. She ate from the tree she was not supposed to eat. Adam ate too. What happened afterwards was a different kind of feeling they both had never felt before. Freedom. Insecurity. Afraid. Confident. Above all feelings, they felt ashamed. They looked down at their naked bodies and only felt ashamed about being that way for the very first time.

God abandoned them from the Garden of Eden since he was furious over what happened. Adam and Eve had not been on good terms ever since then. Seeds of doubt started invading Eve’s heart. She had always known Adam would love her, but now she doubted if Adam really loved her and whether he wished he had found someone else other than her.

Adam constantly kept blaming Eve for having eaten the fruit from that tree. Yes, it was partly Eve’s fault, but Adam was right there with her when she had a bite of it. He dared not stop her. In fact, he ate the fruit as well.

Eve was lied to. Satan’s promise to Eve was “Your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:5). It was a very fabricated lie, that anyone would believe. She was unfortunate enough to have believed it, and ever since then, everything changed.

All of us are like Eve at many points in our lives,. We are constantly being lied to. We are all promised things, which will never be a part of our lives, simply for the fact that it was not destined to. We are all struggling today because of one reason. We are being deceived day by day.

If you take the case of the apple, the apple would never have brought so much temptation if not for the fact that it was appealing to the eye. That is what is happening these days as well. Everything (most of them) good to the outside, or everything appealing to the eyes, are a dressed up deception. But the sad part is, not everyone will realize they are being deceived. It takes time, and it takes a broken heart to realize where they went wrong.It would be too late to go back to the beginning.  And like how Adam and Eve felt exposed and ashamed of their bodies once they realised  they had acted upon a lie, we also tend to feel so exposed.

 But there is one thing you can do. You can rise up from where you fell, or rather, you can rise from where they purposely pushed u to. And like Adam, you may not really have anyone to have your back. No one may stay by your side. But that’s fine. It doesn’t matter. ‘Cuz in the end, this is your fight. You, and only you will fight for your place here. No one else will

No more wasted away

                                -Krishnakripa Jayakumar

My hands too numb, my body freezing cold,
I allowed the last tear to fall ,
Nothing was more tempting
than to answer God’s call
for I just couldn’t bear this pain any long

Here I stand a person so lonely,
so tired and so weary 
Just one last time, I want to see,
the faces which destiny has fordidded me
Why cant we all be like before? Why cant we?

Where was mother, and my father?
Were they all still far away from me?
What bout brother and my dear sister?
Were they so blind that they still couldn't see me?

I walked down the streets,
somewhere far far away,
where no one could ever reach
Why did everyone carry hatred towards me?
Were I that bad or is that how things were supposed to be?

In the dark and cruel land I lay,
familiar faces started drifting away
My veins crippled, my soul taken away
I heard “His” call…
and I knew I’m no more wasted away...

Perfectly imperfect

This blog seemed so dead, so here I am, trying to get back to my writing.I am writing only because I find happiness through it and all that I now know is I am happy. I don’t mind if anyone reads or doesn’t read what I write here. I’m writing to satisfy myself first and foremost

Everyone is constantly searching for areas in their lives to improve. And only when you try to analyze your inner self and find your mind peace, you realize that you are not perfect. In fact no one is. But most of us are living in a society where one wants to point fingers at themselves and say “I am perfect. What I say/do/preach/act is all perfect”.

But seriously what is so wrong in just being imperfect? I wake up every day and find myself irritated at the thought of facing a new day, I don’t use clever wit while conversing though I’d admire it in many people. I am not the greatest of all sportspeople, I am not a genius. I am not perfect in anything. I realize and I know there is far greater competition for me in this world and I am perfectly fine with it. I find perfection in every imperfection that I behold. Yes there have been fleeting moments when I have felt that I would have been happier if I had that “one thing” my neighbor had, or I would have felt that I would have been happy if I was living elsewhere, but it’s just natural. The grass is always greener on the other side. Whatsoever I am content with this life of mine.

But the truth is its all frustrating. Like waking up each day and finding everything depressing. That feeling when you feel you don’t understand anything anymore. When you know people are talking, and they are talking about you, when you are branded with all kinds of names you don’t really like to be called. The people who you have sacrificed for, don’t even recognize your worth, everyone has problems greater than yours and yours feel so insignificant. All faith, all trust is gone and you feel like you are wandering off someplace where you barely know anyone. yes I have done ten thousandths of mistakes. But who am I? Atleast I am not a saint. I don’t lead a perfect life. But when I try to learn from it, please don’t judge me.

I am so used to this way, that I have now become numb. Honestly, I am happy and I am trying to enjoy what I am doing and feel good about it. I just want every day to pass with a feeling that I am content. ’Cuz it sucks so bad to know everyone you love has judged your whole life-past, presnt and even the goddamn future, over things that went wrong, with or without my knowledge.

I am perfectly imperfect and it doesnt hold me back to accept that I am imperfect.
I am happy today. I can sleep now.