-Krishnakripa Jayakumar

Everyone is constantly searching for areas in their lives to improve. And only when you try to analyze your inner self and find your mind peace, you realize that you are not perfect. In fact no one is. But most of us are living in a society where one wants to point fingers at themselves and say “I am perfect. What I say/do/preach/act is all perfect”.

But seriously what is so wrong in just being imperfect? I wake up every day and find myself irritated at the thought of facing a new day, I don’t use clever wit while conversing though I’d admire it in many people. I am not the greatest of all sportspeople, I am not a genius. I am not perfect in anything. I realize and I know there is far greater competition for me in this world and I am perfectly fine with it. I find perfection in every imperfection that I behold. Yes there have been fleeting moments when I have felt that I would have been happier if I had that “one thing” my neighbor had, or I would have felt that I would have been happy if I was living elsewhere, but it’s just natural. The grass is always greener on the other side. Whatsoever I am content with this life of mine.

But the truth is its all frustrating. Like waking up each day and finding everything depressing. That feeling when you feel you don’t understand anything anymore. When you know people are talking, and they are talking about you, when you are branded with all kinds of names you don’t really like to be called. The people who you have sacrificed for, don’t even recognize your worth, everyone has problems greater than yours and yours feel so insignificant. All faith, all trust is gone and you feel like you are wandering off someplace where you barely know anyone. yes I have done ten thousandths of mistakes. But who am I? Atleast I am not a saint. I don’t lead a perfect life. But when I try to learn from it, please don’t judge me.

I am so used to this way, that I have now become numb. Honestly, I am happy and I am trying to enjoy what I am doing and feel good about it. I just want every day to pass with a feeling that I am content. ’Cuz it sucks so bad to know everyone you love has judged your whole life-past, presnt and even the goddamn future, over things that went wrong, with or without my knowledge.

I am perfectly imperfect and it doesnt hold me back to accept that I am imperfect.
I am happy today. I can sleep now.