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The first time I remember talking to a crowd was when I was 14 and a coward. I was basically like the last resort if either anyone backed out or if the usual outspoken students had exhausted their chances of speaking at the school assembly. One day I reluctantly got asked to speak. I would have easily declined, had I learnt the art of saying "no". But even if I did, I would have never declined. I badly wanted that opportunity.

To the outside world I didn't want to appear too excited about being asked to make a speech, because people do it everyday. But to me it meant the whole world. I wrote and rewrote the script for days and practiced the speech day and night. But despite all that, I had nightmares and honestly thought that I'd make a fool out of myself on stage.

I don't know if it was luck, but I managed to pull off a decent show that day. Students commended me about my speech and teachers confessed to me that they didn't expect the silent mouse to deliver a confident speech. It was a whole new experience and I never felt more appreciated in my life. The real appreciation came in when I later started appearing at speeches and other club related activities to speak. It was a feeling I could never express.

I took a great liking to writing scripts and speaking ever since. I started learning body language and would practice in front of a mirror at a stretch. Today I love to listen to people talk and engage in conversations with them but I wouldn't say I am fully over my stage fright, but at least I wouldn't hide behind people if I was asked to speak.

I am no Richard Branson, and I am still an amateur at speaking, but I want to help you out if you are just like the 14-year old version of me. I believe that speaking is a skill that anyone with willpower and courage can take up. I am hence going to jot down a few tips that I learnt along the way. This could apply both to speeches as well as presentations.

1. Learn to use your body efficiently


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Your body speaks more than your words.

If you have ever noticed people being uninterested in your presentation, its because you are being very monotonous. If the place is spacious, try to move around a bit, and try to use your hands while talking.

Something I do quite alot is smile. You instantly connect with people and you would also end up finding others smiling at you, which could boost up your confidence.

Mentally also divide the audience in the room to four sections. And when you are delivering your speech, walk around and make sure your eyes meet every section in the room, instead of only staring up at the ceiling or looking at the back of the room.

(Body language itself is a huge area of study and I'd perhaps write another article on it sometime later)

2. Know your audience


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Your audience is everything.

Changing your tone accordingly could help. Don't ever assume that you could use a general tone for every audience group. For example, opening your speech with a joke in front of a professional crowd may not be a wise choice, but doing so with a set of students could be.


3. You are the master of the show


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This is the most difficult task for me, but in order to effectively deliver a speech without getting nervous you need to understand this fact. My mother would always tell me, "When you are on stage, think of the audience as fools". Sometimes it would help, but not always. But the bottomline here is that, deliver the speech as if you are "the man"! It takes alot of practice, experience and confidence to reach this level and I am also gradually changing my mindset.

This doesn't mean you have to be rude and irrational. Always be humble. People instantly start liking you.

4. The opening and the closing is the real deal


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The audience will always judge you based on how well you can captivate their interest with your first few words. Start it with alot of enthusiasm, a quote, or humor (if you aren't really humorous, better not try it without experience).

In the same way, end it with your vision, a quote or something that makes them want more. What I do generally is summarize the gist of the speech in a powerful quote that I either create or acknowledge, so that I give them something to mentally take with them at the end of the presentation.

5. Share a personal experience


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Nothing can hook an audience like a real life story. Of course don't show off or overdo it. But a short motivational or emotional story would always keep the audience interested.

6. Engage in an interaction 


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I'm not saying you need to do those 'warm-up exercises' people do in order to keep the audience awake, but in the most simplest of ways, you could interact by simply asking rhetorical questions at the audience.

Connecting with your audience is very important because then there is a mutual understanding between both parties. Both feel obliged to be doing what they should be doing (speaking / listening).

7. Do your pauses well


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Just after you ask the audience a question, leave a pause. This generally gets the audience to register in the fact that you are going to follow up with a brilliant answer which will stay in their minds for a long time. Generally a pause of 4-5 seconds is a good sign.

Also, you could pause at the end of each important point you mention and ask them if they have any questions regarding what you just spoke.

8. Capture attention


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Occasionally people may start looking into their mobile phones at a stretch or break away from the flow of the presentation. You could grab back their attention by doing a few things. You could do a 8-9 seconds pause. Even the most uninterested person in the room will look up when the pause is this long. You could then continue from where you took over or...

... you could also be a little sarcastic and go all "Seems like some of us are more interested on Temple Run than this boring presentation" etc (I haven't ever resorted to it.) But keep in mind, you can only do this in an informal setting. You can't expect to wake up judges who sleep through your presentation

9. First the problem, then the price


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If you are planning on selling a product, don't just start off your presentation by introducing your product. Delay it. I generally talk about the problem, build a story around it and then introduce my product.

10. Use visual aids


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If its a presentation, go ahead with a simple, minimalistic slide deck with just enough graphics, animations and transitions. Never overdo your slides with a lot of text and too many images or inconsistencies (different font styles, colors etc). It is always good practice to keep minimal text as this eliminates the possibility of you reading off the slides on the presentation line by line (which is a BIG put off)

11. Face your technical difficulties confidently


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When its a powerpoint presentation, technical difficulties are bound to occur and there's nothing you could do about it. Your machine restarting half way through your presentation should not get you all sad and demotivated to go on. Everyone makes mistakes. But if you do nothing about it, then it is your mistake. For example, I faced this situation in a conference room amidst distinguished guests, but I tackled it in a subtle manner.

You could try to joke about the technical situation, or apologize for the inconvenience. Another way to overcome this time wastage would be to hand over your flow to the next speaker who's waiting for their turn and return back when you have sorted your issues, depending on the situation.

12. Dress your best and dress comfortably 


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I have quite often made this mistake of wearing attires that were looking professional, but that which I was half heatedly wearing because I didn't like them. This makes a huge impact on your performance. If you don't feel confident in your attire, you are not going to be confident while presenting. Always choose dresses that make you confident to walk among people.

13. Practise, practice and practice somemore.


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Unless you are a renowned Toastmaster I would hardly encourage you to step forward and talk without practice. Sure, impromptu speeches are a great thing, but, let's talk about presentations and prepared speeches for now. You need enough practice to appear confident on stage. People normally have the habit of stammering or being "blank" but this is generally the case of lack of practice. Everyone practices in front of a mirror or in their heads before a speech, but no one accepts the fact.

It's also okay to take a long time finalizing your script. I usually take a long time to perfect it, but its okay.


14. Keep it short and sweet


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It's okay to say "I'm going to keep this speech as brief as possible" as long you keep up to your word. If you think you can't, simply don't mention it, because the audience has mentally prepared their mind to be expecting you to be done with your speech at any moment from now. Instead you are going to give them more reasons to secretly wish they'd never see you again on stage with another speech.


15. There are no strict rules when it comes to speaking. 


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Dont let anyone tell you otherwise. All I have penned down here are tips, which you can adopt, mix with your own or ignore. These work for me, and I hope it does work for you as well, but if it doesn't don't get disheartened.

Have you ever wondered why its so easy to speak to your friends, but not to a group of people? Speaking to one, or speaking to many is still speaking. But we often get nervous and stay away, because we are afraid of being judged simply assuming that we are not doing it the right way. But, change that mindset as there is no right or wrong in speaking. Do what feels comfortable to you. If you like being humorous, start off with a joke. If you are someone who wants to make a change, start off with a motivational story. You are the master of your show, remember? Why let the rest of the world make you nervous?

Dear friends, I appreciate you reading through this blog post of mine and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Before wrapping it up, let me put out a mantra quote that I personally adore.

I don’t usually share my feelings with people. It suffocates you a great deal, yet I still keep away.

Why?

Because, in most cases, it’s every man for himself. Most of them will call you up, when there’s a slightly diverse status update or a tweet or some form of feeling unleashed, just to know if you botched things up.

When you approach someone you want to talk to, usually, they devalue your problems(and by problems I do not mean those silly "First World" problems you find people complaining and crying about). That is what I have come to understand of people. “Is that so? This is nothing compared to what I went through.”, “It’s such a small thing. Why do you even have to think about it?”

Hello? Why do I have to think about it?

Because I am clearly hurt.

Because I am not leading your life and I am not born into your circumstances. We are all very different entities and we all have to undergo pain, but your hitches are different from mine and I think you have to accept it.

Unfortunately I will not have the courage to say it out aloud. Because I am in a state of confusion and I am just going to take your word for it. That MY problems aren’t significant enough and there is something wrong with me for thinking about it.

What happens ultimately is that, you shell in. You don’t talk to anyone about your problems, thinking yours is not substantial enough to tell another. You become moody and you become silent. You eventually don’t talk. And you know what the real problem here is? You will never talk about what you feel like to anyone, later onwards, becoming numb to it.

Have you ever thought about how you treat children? When a child, someone entering their teens, tell you about a problem he/she is facing, how have you responded to it as a sibling? You brush them away while typing into your smartphone saying, “You talk like no one else has any problems. Get away now, I have more important work.”


It hurts them. Just because you are not their age, doesn’t mean they aren’t suffering. Infact chances are that you went through something similar in your preteens. You know it well, yet you just want to deliberately ignore it. But why? Because you are not in their circumstance or situation right now, and its just trivial to you.

Dear reader, you cannot weigh your problems. Whether its small or big, I don’t know how to classify them. For me, as far as I am in a mental trauma, I am having a problem.

And that is exactly I want to tell you as well. Stop contemplating about how big or small others’ problems are. You don’t have a right to do that. Even if you do, please reserve your comments to yourself. Nobody wishes to hear what they are undergoing is nothing and they shouldn’t feel anything.

In fact, they do and they are bothered by it that they decided to finally approach you. But if you are being the hypocrite here making their problems redundant, I don’t know what to call you.

Be a shoulder to cry on. If someone chose you to confide in, it means they value you and your words. The moment you choose your words wrong, they may still believe in you, but it will never help them.

I never feared death. Like everyone I believed I was young enough to fret myself over a topic as such. But I knew for a fact that if I were to die, I would die peacefully.

You need to make mistakes in order to learn.

How many of you have ever heard this sentence in your life? Once? Twice? Never(In that case, you have heard it now then)? But my question really is, how many people mean it when they say that. Not many. You may wonder why I am dealing with such a minor point, but I'll get to it.

We have all, and mind you I'm emphasizing on the word "all", made mistakes in some point in our lives. When we were kids, we may have tried playing with fire even when our parents forbade us from doing so and got ourselves burnt. We may have lied consistently and got caught. We may have stolen someone else's pencil case. Countless situations. But with our parents' help we learnt from them and knew it well enough that it was foolish of us to repeat them over again.

And then we grew up and started playing the risky game of making mistakes.We are still in the game. With or without our knowledge, we are making mistakes. But unlike the times when we were a kid, this time, the only difference is that, you need to get up on your own and  dust yourself up without the help of anyone but yourself. Yes, you are the one who is going to realize when you have made a mistake, and like one of my really good friends said "Anyone will make mistakes, but the greatness in it is realizing it and not making it one more time".

I have made a lot of mistakes. Afterall, Life never came with instructions. Some I want to forget, some I wish was a nightmare, some for no fault of mine. But the pain remains. It always does. Sometimes it never goes. But when it quietly subsides, I know it was only a lesson for me. An eye-opener. Something I blindly believed in. Something I wish will never happen again.

But I ask you, throughout all that, throughout all the pain you bury inside, will there really be anyone on your side saying you "Its alright. It was a mistake. Forget about it. It will pass" ? (If you do, then you have someone really great to count on). You will only find criticisms from all sides piercing right through you that you will not be able to stand for long.Sometimes, the world that is pointing fingers at you may not even realize that you were just victimized by someone else. All they are bothered about is to find a flaw. But that's the way the world works. No one's going to come and tell you , you were great when you did something great. But when you slipped somewhere in the middle of your journey, no one ever stops commenting. Not even your closest friend.

The reason I jotted this down now is because I am realizing that mistakes are inevitable. But it creates the most powerful experiences for you to continue your journey. Mistakes are not a crime. Everyone makes them but no one is ever willing to accept it and hence start comparing the depth of theirs and others' mistakes. Small or big. A mistake is a mistake. But just don't be ashamed of it. Be happy that you learnt something valuable from it. I have met some, who are afraid of making mistakes, who "think" they have never made any mistakes, and who hates other people who make mistakes. Just so you know, try laughing at your own mistakes 'cuz that will help you look at it with a good perspective, but please... please don't laugh at others' mistakes, because you never know how much they would have had to suffer, for the sole reason you have never walked in their shoes.

When I was little, my mother told me a story that I did not really understand at that moment. But I just got reminded of it some days back when I read the story elsewhere in a book, but in a slightly modified manner.

This is how the story unfolded.

A man was having late breakfast one day with two of his friends. He was applying jam to his bread, when suddenly the bread slipped from his hand and fell to the floor. As opposed to Murphy's Law suggesting that everything will go wrong, to all their amazement, the side which had the jam applied,  fell,  facing upwards. There really shouldn’t have been any discussion over it, but they were feeling very uneasy about the whole situation. They talked and talked and tried to explain this miracle. They thought of various different explanation to what just happened. Why did the side which had the jam spread, fall face upwards? Shouldn’t it have fallen facing the floor? Since none of them came up with a plausible explanation, they decided they consult someone more superior to them, someone more wise. When the wise man heard about it, he thought for a while and then said,

“The bread fell the the right way, but the jam was applied on the wrong side”

Everything in this universe is just nothing more than a simple explanation. But people normally tend to come up with the most complicated of ideas. 

This blog seemed so dead, so here I am, trying to get back to my writing.I am writing only because I find happiness through it and all that I now know is I am happy. I don’t mind if anyone reads or doesn’t read what I write here. I’m writing to satisfy myself first and foremost

There are no miracles. I do not believe in such (nor do I believe in luck). So a being didn't come into existence for no reason. You were not created for the mere sake of being created. At least remember, you were that one sperm out of billions that won the race. You deserve a chance, just the way others do. Above all, you deserve to live and no one has the right to "kill" you.

So now I may ask, what is there for you to seek in this world? Well, whatever it is, you will seek it alone, that I am sure. If I'm not mistaken, I read a book sometime back which stated, "However much people you are surrounded by, you are still alone". Every man is alone no matter how many friends he has.

And back to the question. "What is there to seek?". Well, there is little you can seek, that is compared to this entirely huge universe.